Changes to fertility can have a huge impact on your close relationships, whether they are romantic or with family and friends. You may feel worried about telling people and their reactions, or be feeling isolated, which can add another layer to an already stressful situation. We want you to feel as prepared and supported as possible, so on this page we talk about managing any impact and ways to have those conversations.
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If you are the family or friend of someone with fertility changes, Fertility Network UK's Guide for Families, Parents, Friends & Colleagues may be helpful. Read it here >
Partners
During their time together, many couples think about starting or completing their family, even if it’s not something that will happen immediately. If you have a partner, you may have already spoken about it casually or made definite plans for your future. But talking about changes to your fertility can be harder, especially if the future now looks different.
If you are in a relationship
If you planned to have a child or more children, you may feel guilty or that you are at fault for the changes to your fertility. You might even think you are letting your partner down. Try to remember that the cancer is not your fault and there are next steps you can take together.
If your partner is struggling, we have information to help support them >
The life you planned together, with a focus on children, may now need to be rethought. As well as coming to terms with the emotional impact this can have, it may help to take practical steps towards new goals and milestones. These can be anything you want – such as a holiday or completing a course. By building these up bit by bit, you can shape a life that works for you and your partner.
Before you do this, it can help to have a conversation about the changes to your fertility. Only you know when you feel ready to talk about this. If you feel very anxious or upset about it and find it’s constantly on your mind, talking about it with your partner may help lessen those feelings. Here are our tips for talking with your partner.
Make sure you have time and space
Once you are ready, find a quiet, private place and time to speak. Try to make sure you won’t be interrupted and can take the time you need for the initial conversation. You may end up having a lot of conversations, so don’t worry if you do not say everything you want to.
Talk through the situation
Your partner may have been with you throughout treatment and understand the changes to your fertility, but it can help to voice it again, away from a medical setting. Give your partner time to ask questions and process what you are saying. If you need it, remember to ask for support from your partner.
Be open to talking about the future
After you’ve talked, you and your partner can begin to think about what your future together might look like now that things may have changed. If you think it would be helpful to have some expert support, counselling for you and your partner may be an option you consider.