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I'm fairly early on here and have just - 2 days ago - been diagnosed with adenocarcinoma. I'm lucky, I think, insomuch as my MRI is booked this Sunday. The MDTs are on Mondays up here, so I think I might be faced with a week of waiting before they discuss how to treat this. Waiting is the worst bit. So far Ive learnt two things: 1. do not google things, 2. keep busy. Like I said, all this is very early on, but the consultant indicated that I will need a radical hysterectomy and possibily radiotherapy, too.
In the meantime, I've been told a few things about my hospital. People at work seem not to rate it very highly. I live between two hospitals: Derby and Nottingham, and I'm wondering if I should take notice of what my colleagues have told me and swap hospitals. I know that people say all sorts of things about hospitals and I'm not sure if it's wise to focus on that now.
I've told my mum. I think she's been googling things, too. I don't want to upset her by showing her how frightened I am, and I've told her that google can be very misleading (she knows this already, but it's hard not to morbidly google a prognosis). She lives down south and I can't see her easily, but I've never felt so far away from her as I do now. Looking at the time frame, I'm wondering if I'll be in hospital over Christmas. I guess it'd be unlikely for things to move that quickly, but if that was the case I think I'd want to postpone it so I can travel down to see my mum.
My boyfriend is being supportive, but I'm really worried for him and how he might cope with all this in the long term. I've thought about leaving him because I don't want to put him through this, but that's over-reacting because I don't even know what 'this' is.
And then there's work. Money. A routine. It all feels so up in the air.
Looking back I think there were signs that something was up: I felt more fatigued than normal, a bit nauseous, and perhaps sex was a bit painful. But it would be madness to attribute those symptoms to cancer - so I just ignored them until I got the unusual bleeding. I think I missed my last PAP test, too; meaning my last test was nearly 6 years ago. I feel like I should have been more cautious and gone to the GPs much earlier. I keep replaying that in my mind. Although when I did go to the GPs back in May they passed it off as genital warts - I've been with my partner with 7 years and never had genital warts in the past. Now I really wish I had warts!
I'm very scared.